It’s been one of those mornings.
The Boy woke up at 3am and again at 5am, despite my best efforts to nurse and rock him back to sleep. His insistent crying woke up Big Sister at 5:30, rubbing her eyes and scowling. By 6am, our entire household is in a sleep-deprived grumpy mood.
By 7:30, it’s meltdown city as I buckle up the children in their carseats and start the drive to work/daycare. The Boy is screaming and trying to eat his shoes. Big Sister is demanding candy for breakfast, in between Oscar-worthy sobs about wanting to watch movies on the iPad. Due to my own clumsiness, I broke my french press a couple days ago and I’m feeling the desperate withdrawal of caffeine adding to the craziness of the morning. It’s not a good morning.
I don’t know how other people do it. There are these mornings when I would rather be at work than be with my adorable rascals. When it’s easier to be writing prescriptions for insulin or examining someone’s thyroid nodules than to listen to the incessant whining and sniffling.
Then we arrive at the daycare. Big Sister is unusually silent as we walk to her classroom. I hold her warm, slightly sticky little hand in mine. I lean down to give her a kiss goodbye and she surprises me with a big hug and says, “I Love You. Have a good day.” My heart melts. A few minutes later as I say goodbye to The Boy, he enthusiastically claps his pudgy hands together and rewards me with a big drooly kiss right before he crawls away to explore. As I walk to my car, I get that feeling of wanting to hit rewind and start the morning all over again. To have a morning where I am well-rested, warmly-caffeinated, and not in a rush to get to work. I feel so guilty for yelling at my children.
God reminds me that just like whiny children, I often make unreasonable stupid demands at inappropriate times, and yet God never loses his patience with me. He never thinks that He would rather be somewhere else other than be with me. He reminds me over and over again in little ways that His love for me is unconditional and forgiving, that through all the yelling and craziness, He loves me and wants me to have a good day.
It’s the not-so-good mornings like today when I most feel God’s mercies surrounding me.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)